Take time and smell the roses... Wait, that's not roses!

I have to remind myself this every day--slow down!  Children should not be rushed.  For the most part, a child is doing the best he/she can, and if you hurry the child along, he/she will get frustrated, or even worse, give up.
Life shouldn't feel like an episode of "Beat the Clock".  When it does, things are out of whack and it's time to rethink priorities.

Here's a great post that a Montessori-trained infant/toddler teacher/co-worker of mine shared.  It really puts things in perspective for a busy parent.  Think of the next 2 a.m. diaper change as another opportunity to see your baby smile.  Enjoy.

Ain't nothin' free

With my return to work looming mid-month, I am full of mixed feelings.  I  am fortunate to have a job at a school where there is infant care.  I am fortunate to work with people who are sympathetic to the working mother.  Not everyone is that fortunate.  I got 8 weeks (usually it's 6, but I had a c-section) at 60% pay, then another 6 weeks under "maternal bonding" at 60% pay.  Yes, it's better than nothing.  But take a look at this comparison of the U.S. v. the rest of the world, when it comes to parental leave.



I nursed W exclusively for nearly 7 months, and gradually tapered off, stopping bedtime nursing when he was 2-and-a-half.  Plan to do the same for J.  It will be more challenging this time, though, as I am heading back to work soon and will have to pump (space to be determined).  I am under no illusions that it will be easy.  
Disclaimer:  Of course, I am in the "breast is best" column.  But some of my dear friends have self-proclaimed "milk duds", and I don't fault them one bit.  To quote Eeyore, "We can't all, and some of us don't." 
That said, check out this article a fellow Smithie posted on FB from the NYTimes.

Americans Support Breast-Feeding, as Long as It’s ‘Free’

By KJ DELL'ANTONIA

Breast-feeding mothers still need support.
Much of the narrative around breast-feeding of late about the “backlash.” In one segment of society, breast-feeding is seen as nearly ubiquitous — so ubiquitous that to do anything else, no matter the reason, is to court disapproval and even condemnation. When you read an article on the necessity of defending that choice (like those from Marie C. Baca, writing here and Chris Kornelis, writing for The Atlantic), you might think that only the “fearless formula feeder” needs support, while the triumphant nursing mother, saluted by the phrase “breast is best,” revels in the security of a job well done.
You would be wrong. And creating an artificial sense of division between those mothers based on how they feed their babies distracts us from the real problem: how little we do to support either mother. In some cases, it’s that lack of support that creates the distinction.
With the United States ranked last in breast-feeding support by Save the Children in its State of the World’s Mothers report for 2012; with nearly 40 percent of women not eligible for maternity leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act; and with every individual woman responsible for cobbling together a structure that will allow her to care for her infant while still putting a roof over the baby’s head, new mothers need all the support they can get, and they aren’t getting much. Breast-feeding mothers, or mothers who hope to breast-feed, need to be present for their infant (or their breast pump) in ways that make that lack of support even more challenging. A pat on the back from your doctor and the approbation of the mothers down the block may be nice, but that and a MetroCard will get you a subway ride to work and not much else.
As I’ve written here before, breast-feeding isn’t free. It takes time to nurse a baby, and anyone with a job that pays by the hour knows in a deeply personal way that time is money. Pumping mothers who have to ask for special dispensation to pump at work are often perceived as costing their employers in lost time. Women who breast-feed for six months or more experience a decline in income with long-reaching effects. Breast milk has costs that can be measured in economic terms, and individual families are the ones that bear them.
The W.K. Kellogg Foundation recently surveyed 1,300 Americans about their attitudes toward breast-feeding. The questions were couched in positive terms (as befits an organization working to build a movement supporting breast-feeding), and the responses were overwhelmingly positive as well.

62 percent of respondents strongly agreed that “all women should be encouraged to breast-feed because of the health benefits for babies and society” (and an additional 25 percent agreed).

61 percent strongly agreed that “whether or not a woman breast-feeds should not be dictated by the quality of health care she receives or her work situation” (and an additional 21 percent agreed).

61 percent strongly agreed that “everyone can play a role in making it easier for mothers who want to breast-feed” (and another 24 percent agreed).

Respondents were also asked what might make it easier for women in this country to breast-feed their children. Among the things that a majority thought would be “very helpful”: clean, private spaces in public places where women can go to breast-feed their children. Pamphlets. Discussions. Workplaces that support breast-feeding mothers by offering space to pump and a place to store breast milk.
Things got a little iffy when those same enthusiastic supporters of breast-feeding were asked if “government policies that support breast-feeding” would be helpful: only 41 percent said “very.” And then there’s the question that wasn’t asked: if 72 percent of you agree or strongly agree that “all babies should be breast-fed exclusively for a minimum of six months as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics,” then wouldn’t it be “very helpful” if the mothers of those babies could all take at least some paid time off to do just that?
Who thinks many of those respondents would have put their money where their mouth is, even in responding to a survey?
It’s time to ask. We don’t, as a society, put our money on breast-feeding. We recommend it, but we don’t pay for it. Women who go back to work quickly after having a baby are less likely to breast-feed, and many women in the United States have no choice but to return to work as soon as they’re able. Only 11 percent of all private-industry workers have access to paid family leave. Among state and local government employees, the number is slightly higher — 16 percent. Federal workers don’t get any, though all employees may be able to use accrued sick leave. Hotel chains, box stores, casual dining — those may be where the jobs are, but most aren’t where you’ll find a maternity-leave benefit for hourly workers. We’d all have to pay another nickel for that giant roll of paper towels, motel room or chimichanga.
Of course, you can breast-feed a baby exclusively and still go back to work the minute you’re back on your feet. You can do it if you’re a C.E.O. who installs a nursery next to her office, and you can do it if you’re a line worker in an assembly plant with enough breaks to pump for an infant eating every two hours, or maybe have a relative willing to bring the baby by to actually nurse. Granted, you might be working heavy equipment on a minimum of sleep, but that’s a small price to pay to further our national credo: we’re all in this alone.
In a Your Money column, Tara Siegel Bernard wrote about the many benefits to families, babies, employers and society from paid maternal-leave policies: lower infant mortality rates, lower illness and hospitalization rates for infants who are more likely to be breast-fed, benefits to women’s health, and economic gains from reducing health-care costs and women’s overall time out of the work force. Yet the United States is the only advanced economy without some form of paid leave.
Paid leave wouldn’t automatically lead to breast-feeding for all, nor should it. The argument for supporting the opportunity to breast-feed among all women, rather than making breast milk a luxury good, isn’t one over whether “breast is best.” It’s an argument about how we do, and don’t, support families, and about whether we as a society will ever accept that every one of us benefits when our children are given every opportunity to thrive.

Jon Stewart eats crow

It's a feat to seem sincere and funny at the same time.  Apology accepted. 

Recent sewing projects

Here are some of my recent sewing projects...

Yes, W wanted to be Dopey for Halloween.

 Customized burp cloths

 Wiener dog for neighbor's baby

 Customized pillowcases for neighbor's birthday

 Stroller blanket for co-worker's baby

 Stroller blanket for (another) co-worker's baby

 Turned-back stroller blanket

Bib and burp cloth to match blanket

Yes, I've been busy.  And I have a stack of fabric that I'm working with for more baby-related fun, including items for our school's annual auction.  More pics to follow, I promise.

The Daily Show FAIL

So I am normally a huge fan of The Daily Show and Jon Stewart. However, Stewart got it wrong earlier this week. Take a look. Of course people automatically think White Southern Male of a Certain Age=Racist. I am so glad there are folks out there setting the record straight. My dad worked with Mr. Molpus for most of my childhood, and I grew up hearing him speak out and rally against the mindset which Jon Stewart accused him of having. I have never had anything but respect for him, having seen him weather the harsh political climate in Mississippi with grace and sincere good-heartedness. Really, Jon Stewart? Is it that unbelievable that such Southerners exist?

Revival!

Well, spring is fast approaching, and spring means new beginnings and revival.  In keeping with Mother Nature's theme, I'm reviving my blog.  I've been sewing a lot lately, but not doing much gardening.  Things have been a bit busy with work, W's diabetes care and the birth of J in November!
I'm not promising a lot here, but I'll use this space to post pictures of sewing projects, plants I don't kill and other things that strike my fancy.

Amazing-ness

Last night I went with my friend Peggy to the DMB concert in Camden. It was my second Dave concert, and her 83rd. Last year, the show was okay, but it was clear that the band wasn't "feeling it". This year was the total opposite. You could tell that they were enjoying themselves, and they really put on an amazing show.

Edit this setlist | More Dave Matthews Band setlists

Bravo

I had a fantastic dinner last night at Bravo with my dearest friend in the world. It was fabulous!
Mike gets here this afternoon; not sure what we have on tap for today--probably just avoiding the heat as much as possible! Boy, it's hot here! We have gotten spoiled in NJ!

What he's up to these days...

So W is busy. Very busy. Being three is a LOT of work, from what I can see. Our biggest hurdle these days is going to bed. It's gotten bad recently because we took away his pacifier (which he only had at bedtime and nap, I might add) when he turned 3. He only asked for it for the first 2 or 3 days, but his going-to-sleep ability has decreased precipitously. Seriously, it has been taking me up to an hour to get him down at night, which is horrible, especially since 5 out of 7 nights, I am here alone. Well, Monday night was the last straw. When Mike came home, he saw my distress, and made a suggestion. He recalled that, a few months ago, when we were going through a rough patch with the sleeping, my mentor at work, Rita, suggested that we reverse the doorknob for his room so that we could lock it from the outside to prevent him from running out after lights out (aka, playing games). We unlock it, of course, once he's asleep so he can get out if needs to in the night but it keeps him from being able to run out of his room every five minutes just after he's put down, as he had been doing. So it's working so far. In fact, the last night he didn't even get up after I put him down! Success, for now.
The toileting is great. He has been in underpants for nearly 2 weeks (he wears a diaper for nap and bed) and has only had a few pee accidents (his last one was last Saturday). No poop accidents, unless you count today, which I don't... Here's what happened. He hadn't pooped since Monday, and he was complaining of a tummy-ache (I bet!). He had tried several times yesterday to poop, and I was getting worried. Well, when I went into the room between our classrooms today, right before we were going to leave, there he was, pulling up his pants, saying, "My poop in potty. Big mess." Sure enough, he had pooped in the potty... and clogged the toilet! Bless his heart. He had also gotten poop all over his bottom and legs while trying to wipe himself. I got him all cleaned up before we left, and gave him a bath when we got home. He was so sweet about the whole thing. When we called Mike to tell him about it, he said, "Daddy, my poop in potty. Break toilet." So funny.
Also falling into the "funny category" is this, which Mike witnessed the other night. Here's Mike's account, as copied/pasted from an email... "he's was brushing his teeth the other night to get ready for bed while standing on his little potty singing -- on one foot. i told him he needed to just brush his teeth and quit the other. and he looked at me with the most sincere eyes and said 'Stand on one foot, sing songs!' maybe you had to be there but i can't help but laugh every time i think about it." All I witnessed was the audio portion of that incident, so I heard the singing, as well as Mike's chuckling. It was quite dear.
W had a very acute observation the other night. While lying on his pallet (he's refusing to sleep on his bed right now--he insists on sleeping on a pallet on the floor in his room), he started fingering his nipples (yes, that's right. He has also been going through a phase of not wanting to wear a shirt to bed). He looked up at me, and with the most serious look on his face, said, "Mommy, why my have nipples?" Good question, son. Good question.

Pots and pans

When Mom and I were in DC back in June, we saw the Smithsonian's exhibit of Julia Child's kitchen. Here's a piece from NPR about her pots and pans, which have recently been added to the rest of the kitchen.

Cherries

Mike and I like cherries a lot. I mean, a lot A LOT. Even when Wegman's started having them at 3.99 per pound, back in May, we indulged. So now that they are 99 cents per pound, we are literally making ourselves ill on cherries. There are worse things to make yourself ill on, right?

Birthday pics, etc, as promised

You asked for it... Well, maybe you didn't, but here you go anyway.
While my parents were here, Mike and I had an overnight get-away in NYC. I went in on the train on Friday afternoon, did around by myself for a while, and met up with him after he got done at work.
I snapped the picture below when I was meandering through Union Square. There were these three girls walking to a restaurant (I later saw them across the street from where Mike and I were eating) and they had on practically identical outfits. They were such a bad cliche, I couldn't resist...
After eating and walking around a bit, we headed to BowlMor, a bowling alley in the Union Square/Greenwich Village area.

I didn't do so well. Yes, I got a few strikes, but that was a total fluke.Of COURSE I had to take a picture of Lance Bass's signed pin at BowlMor!This was, perhaps my favorite thing that I saw in NYC... On a front door in Greenwich Village, the person had posted a plaque that read "No Menus" in both English AND Chinese! Hilarious. I totally need one of those. We get bombarded with menus for Chinese places....

While Mike and I were still in NYC the following a.m., my brave parents took W to the Staten Island Children's Museum. W loved it-- they had a REAL FIRE ENGINE that he got to play in!

After visiting the museum, the three of them took the Staten Island Ferry to Manhattan, where they met us. We took the ferry back to SI, where my parents had parked their car, and drove back home. W really liked the ferry. He thought the Statue of Liberty was neat; he has a book about NYC and when he sees the drawing of the statue in the book, he gets all excited.


So my parents are the King and Queen of Projects. While they were here, they did several things around here that have needed doing...
Dad, using the 100 lb roller on the new kitchen floor...
Giving horsey rides...
Dad also organized Mike's tools in the basement. Mom organized the other crap down there... We actually have a lot of space, now that stuff is neatly stacked!
We went to our favorite farm while they were here... The farm provides a free apple for each child who visits. W loves choosing one for his very own!
According to my mother, I loved to wear bowls on my head when I was a little girl. So of course Mom couldn't resist snapping this picture of W...
Ah, the birthday! My mom got me a cupcake tower for Mother's Day... It was the perfect thing for the party!

He loved having everyone sing to him!He got great stuff for his birthday...
Underpants!
A new bike helmet (with Lightening McQueen on it, of course), to go with.....
...his new bike! That's right, it's a two-wheeler with no pedals. It's a balance bike. A child who uses one learns to ride a bike without training wheels. A friend of ours had one for her son, and he now rides a two-wheeler perfectly, and won't be four until November!
Of course, we had an unwelcome guest...
I found this caterpillar munching on one of my tomato plants! He was actually quite beautiful. He had a gorgeous green body, with blue and white stripes along it. He will be a pretty butterfly (if he makes it!). I transplanted him to the neighbor's front bushes (hey, no one lives there!).
My tomato plants are incredible. They are taller than my fence.
It's a jungle out there!
Kicking back after the party...
Yes, it was a big weekend.

THREE

W turned 3 on Sunday! He had a great party. My parents were able to be here to celebrate, which was wonderful.
I'll post pics soon. Thanks to everyone who helped make his birthday so special!!

Changing the dynamic

Are you a parent? Are you thinking of becoming a parent? Well, I have the book for you.

This book comes highly recommended from my co-worker, the Toddler Whisperer. The author, Beth Grosshans, is a frequent speaker/collaborator with our school. Her discipline techniques are no-nonsense and practical-- they work! I got the book on Tuesday and have been starting to implement the Ladder, and let me tell you, IT WORKS. W is NOT the one "in charge" at our house, but I can see him beginning to slip into that pattern, as Mike and I are both "pleasers," according to the book.
So I have tried the technique advocated by the book, and while it is a challenge at first, it really keeps my blood-pressure down, and works to calm the raging sea (aka, raging toddler). We don't spank, so this approach is perfect for our family. Basically, this book stresses the importance of correcting the situation at once, in order to avoid more serious problems down the road. Click here for a brief interview with the author.
The book covers problems from eating, sleeping, toileting, etc. This is definitely a book worth looking at if you have ANY questions about how to raise/discipline your child/ren.
I'll keep you posted on our progress.

The countdown is on!

A week from today, my parents will be here! They had planned to come up back in June, but were unable to because Dad had to stick around and wait on the state legislature to play its games. So they are going to start a drive up to Jersey next Friday and arrive on Sunday. They are bringing, among other things, a painting that my BFF did for me back in December, as well as a rug for my living room that Mom swears I'll "love". So they'll be here for a little over a week, and it looks like Mike and I might just get an overnight getaway out of the deal! I think we'll wind up staying in NYC for a night, and hopefully go to a show (if we can get tickets to a good one).
They'll also be in town for W's THIRD birthday! I cannot believe he is turning 3 this month. It's incredible. We're doing a Cars-themed birthday party, since he adores the movie and anything having to do with it. He's super-excited about his (as he calls it) "McQueen party" and says that, when he turns 3, he will wear Big-Boy Underpants and get rid of his "woo woo" (his pacifier, which he has in bed at night). We'll see about that...

Just beachy

We did something totally out-of-the-ordinary for our family a few days ago--we went on a mini-spur-of-the-moment Vacation! On Sunday, after church, Mike asked me what I thought about going to the beach, as we all had a few days off from work/school. Hmm... So we went home, did a little research on the Shore, and created a little getaway! We stayed a little mom-and-pop motel in Point Pleasant, about an hour from our house. The room was actually two bedrooms, which was perfect with W, as he was able to go to sleep at his normal time and Mike and I were able to stay up later (as in, until 10). We were such "old folks," playing Yahtzee and watching The American Experience on PBS. It was so relaxing and enjoyable.
The boardwalk was a typical boardwalk, with the silly rip-off games and greasy, too-expensive food. However, there was a decent, albeit small, aquarium that we enjoyed. We got there just in time to see them feed the seals (they also brushed the seals' teeth!).
We ate lunch at a little diner that was surprisingly quite delicious. Mike was craving a cheeseburger, I had a chicken panini, and W had (no big shock) chicken tenders. With full tummies, we went to our hotel, where we had arranged early check-in so that W could get his nap. He was excited about the BIG bed (we barricaded him in with pillows), and went to sleep without a fuss. After naps, we headed to the beach. You have to pay a nominal fee for most beaches in Jersey, so we got our beach passes at the hotel and trooped down to the shore. The water was waaaay too cold (we didn't even get near it, though there were lots of dummies out frolicking in the waves). We instead sat in the sand and showed W how fun it was to dig in the sand.
He was skeptical at first. In fact, he hated it at first. But he quickly warmed up to the idea of it and soon had a great time.

Here he is with his daddy, filling his dump truck with sand and shells.



He got really into running up and down the beach. We were flying his Elmo kite, which he thought was pretty neat.

On Tuesday, we found a practically deserted public beach further south in Bay Head. It was great. The tide had recently receeded, and we were able to collect some really neat shells.

It was pretty nippy and windy.


You can see how windy it was from the flags.


We got home by naptime on Tuesday. W was asking about the "'tel" and the "beech", which leads me to believe that he really enjoyed his trip and would be game for a repeat at some point in the near future.

It's June!

June just crept up on me! Memorial Day has come and gone, school's out... Sort of. Good news--I found out that I will be working at W's school this summer! After months of waiting, a slot came open, and they asked me to work. So that will make it MUCH easier to keep sending W to school through the summer. Routine and consistency is so important to him, so this is a fantastic opportunity for both of us to continue our daily grind.
My mom flew up on Wednesday for a last-minute-planned trip... As in, got her ticket on Tuesday. See, she and Dad were supposed to drive up to see us, but Dad had to stay in MS (ridiculous MS legislature), so it looked like a visit was off... Until Mom found a ticket that she could get with Frequent Flier miles! So she's here. She and I drove down to DC on Saturday morning to go to some museums--specifically the Smithsonian's Natural History museum. They have an exhibit going on right now that explores early North American European settlements from a forensic perspective. One of our distant-distant relatives was dug up and studied as part of the research. While we didn't see him on our visit (he's since been re-interred), there was a little blurb about how he had likely died of lead poisoning. Turns out, wealthier people generally died of such ailments, as most of their utensils and dinnerware was made of or coated with lead-- po' folks had wooden stuff. Very interesting.
Anyway, we did that, then went over to the American History museum. The last time I was in DC, it was closed for renovation. Well, it's open now. It's very... sterile. I enjoyed seeing Julia Child's kitchen, which is on permanent display there. Seeing the Star Spangled Banner was really cool, too. As for the new decor, however, I'm less than impressed.
After that, we backtracked and visited the National Gallery of Art. I love that place. It is so beautiful. We were in search of one of my favorite paintings, Renoir's Girl With a Watering Can. My mom has pictures of me standing beside it at ages 10 and 20. We were hoping to get a shot of me standing next to it in my 30th year. No such luck. I looked at their website and it seems that she is no longer "on display". Very interesting...
So then we went back to our hotel... The Ritz! My dad surprised us with reservations at the Ritz-Carlton because he was so bummed that he couldn't be up here with us. We relaxed a little bit, then set out for Georgetown, to one of my old haunts, Clyde's. Clyde's has great food and a relaxed atmosphere. I had a burger (I was craving it!) and Mom had crabcakes. Everything was delish. We strolled around a little bit, ducking into little shops here and there, but were so tired that we didn't last long. We hailed a cab back to the hotel and kicked back. I took a luxurious bubble bath in the gigantic tub and snuggled into the comfy featherbed. I slept like a rock.
Breakfast was huge, and delicious. I was only able to put away a fraction of what was on my plate, but enjoyed it immensely. We checked out soonafter, got our car, and made our way out of DC via some very interesting neighborhoods. We made it home in about 3 hours, thanks to my E-Z-Pass tag. It sure does save time when you don't have to stop to pay tolls with cash. With E-Z-Pass you just slow down a little bit and sail on through. Nice.
So we're home now. Mike and W survived our absence. The only time W really missed me was at bedtime last night. He wanted to sing "Baby Beluga" and Mike doesn't know the words/tune. But W's Smart Papa had a solution--call Mama! So there I was, standing in Barnes and Noble, singing "Baby Beluga" to my son over the telephone. The things we do for our children.

Amen, Uncle Jesse.

In and out

Mike installed my new ceiling fan (Mother's Day present) in the kitchen yesterday--it's fantastic (get it?!).

Here's Mike washing dishes (I love my husband so much!). You can see my new sink, new counter tops, new shade, and new light over the sink. Hooray!

My darling husband also finished staining and varnishing W's W-sized eating set to match our dining table. It looks great, and W is super-proud of it.

Here are my veggies in the backyard. I have several tomato plants, bell pepper, eggplant and squash. I sowed some carrot, radish, watermelon, and pumpkin seeds this past weekend as well.

Here's the first squash bloom of the season!

Here are my delish herbs. I have (clockwise from lower left) basil, parsley, mint, cilantro and rosemary.

Remember the stuff I started from seeds back in March? Some of it didn't work, but the stuff that did work is pretty impressive. Here are some tomato and bell pepper plants.